Professional failure, former band director, and museum-quality hack David Satterfield is now listed in the WVU directory as Vice President of Research and Economic Development.
Just like what I said would happen.
Me, and a lot of other people.
But whatever. I'm still just "a dork running a misinformed blog."
EDIT: OMFG you guys, UPDATE!!!111!!11!!!1!1!!!!
Yeah, well, I remind you that when I posted this that every tissue in my body was thoroughly soaked with delicious Gordon's gin. If you go here, Satterfield is clearly listed as Director of Asset Development. Which I guess is university-speak for "Person in Charge of Finding Garrison a Suitable Goomah."
Of course, none of this means Satterfield won't be getting a promotion. But I still jumped the gun. It happens.
Might I suggest though, that any commenters wishing to drop a "hefty deuce" on my face remove Garrison's dick from their ass first. It's just easier that way on everybody.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
This Has Been Another Edition of I Told You So
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57 comments:
It's not like Weite has been doing a wonderful job, but I still find it hard to believe that Satterfield is the replacement. I'll walk over and see if John's house is for sale...
Did you see the BIG RAISE that the law dean was given -- a $2million endowed chair in his final year?
Call both of the "merit based" pay, WVU style
Seriously. A bunch of (better heeled than I) Charleston lawyers need to pony up so we can poach a dean from a top 25 school. How much do you think Boalt's dean would cost?
the department is listed as VP for Res and Econ Dev, his title is still listed as director. look up anyone in the directory, they all have a dept listed. you're not reading it correctly :)
We need to get some WV-sympathetic or -bred UVa or W&L guy in at the CoL; I fear that's about the best we can do. Ugh -- not so easy to pony up that money when you're making no more than a third-year Skadden associate as a senior partner at Jackson Kelly. For shame, West Virginia.
I will say you jumped the gun on this one. The Department is listed as VP Research and Economic Development not the title. Everyone in his office is listed the same way.
Not to pile on, but if you go to the WVU Research and Development pull down window and look at the conact list here:
http://research.wvu.edu/contacts
he is clearly listed as the Director of Asset Development.
But nice try anyway. I once congratulated myself for winning the gold medal in throwing stars and nunchucks, but it turned out that was false too.
Well done, douchebag! You have managed to confirm both "dork" and "misinformed" as appropriate descriptions in one fell swoop. I hope you keep your job blogging. I would hate to see your immense incompetence show its face in something of importance. I would bet both Weete and Satterfield check their facts better than you. But then again, maybe they don't like the taste of feet like you seem to.
This has been another edition of your self-congratulatory blogging nonsense and commenters dropping a hefty deuce on your face!
Exactly. I'd just love to poach the W&L dean.
The last thing the WVU College of Law needs is some douche from W&L or UVA. Go get someone who went to WVU, not someone from WV who felt they were "too good" for WVU but then felt the need to come home and save "their" state. I they felt that way then, I doubt it has changed.
Hmm, you're all in a hurry to pile on. It's not like he's been right 99.9% of the time so far.
I posted a correction. Check it, beeyatches.
12:09 Anon, I remind you that we're talking about the leader of the state's only law school, not Sunday School Superintendent. Virtually all universities hire profs and deans who went to "better" schools. And when you're ranked as low as the WVU CoL, it's hard not to.
Promoting from within is usually reserved for places that can't attract decent candidates...like the WV Department of Education.
Anon 12:09: God forbid anyplace in this state hire anyone who has ever sought something better than WVU/Marshall. Believe it or not, one can still be sympathetic and without some sort of Savior Complex and find the options in West Virginia to be just what they are: pathetically sub-standard. A degree from UVa or W&L -- hell, even fucking Pitt or Penn State -- are tickets to somewhere better and more prosperous than West Virginia, and the decision to come back and lead in WV is almost stupidly courageous due to the pay cut and general like "prestige" cut one takes by living in the state.
-Anon 9:42
Nothing wrong with being "too good" for a third/fourth tier school run into the ground. WVU will be lucky if someone who valued their education so would come back to show 'em how it's done.
What do commenters shitting on you about botching another scoop on Satterfield have to do with Garrison? Get a grip. The gin is not the problem. Keep drinking, please. The problem is that every tissue in your body seems to be soaked with envy and malice.
I, as they say, jumped the gun. I didn't botch shit. And hell, it's not like I wanted Garrison or Satterfield to get their respective "jobs." I would have loved to be wrong.
And just so you know, I'm mostly pissed off that more people aren't pissed off. So it goes.
Get back to work before Dill catches you slacking off.
I would love to place a wager with you on whether or not Satterfield becomes VP of R&E. Perhaps if he does I will buy for you that love and attention you crave so in the form of a one page ad in any WV paper you desire. If not, within say two years, you have to admit you are a choad on your website and forever more blog only about Brittney and K-Fed. They seem more your speed and nobody will care if you check your facts or know what you are writing about.
I am confident I would win even if the bet was for 10 years, but what fun would that be.
Or you could just fuck off. If you don't like what I have to say, don't read it. It's really that simple.
I think it was more than jumping the gun. A little more along the lines of this:
http://www.historybuff.com/library/reftruman.html
You can't say "I told you so," which is your headline, if it hasn't happened. Instead your headline should read, "I still think it will happen, but it hasn't and then I misread a directory and made a misinformed post and got called to the carpet on it and got really mad about that." Or something shorter for the sake of brevity like "Opps I crapped my pants."
Is that it? It's your party and you'll misinform if you want to? You are fun because your ire is so easily raised, yet you are so easily put down. And who the heck is Dill? Do you think you know what I do from your blogspot data? Misinformed again.
Perhaps you should spend less time misdeducing the identities of your commenter's and more time researching some factual content (or at least fact-based opinion) for your posts.
It's not that you aren't entitled to rant about Garrison, Satterfield, and whatever other status quo WVU person or thing you hate. That would actually be entertaining to read. It's just that you clearly aren't good at it, so I have to entertain myself by calling you a simpleton.
Oops, you crapped you pants, Hippie.
I guess you missed the part where I acknowledged getting it wrong.
I could have just deleted the post and pretended it all never happened, but that's really not my style.
And at least I have a sense of humor about it. Gawd you people. Move along.
Maybe Boss will prove you wrong. Just like the BOG proved Judge King wrong on his letter...wait a second.
Regardless, who can blame you for any alcohol-related screw-ups, we've all been there--even the BOG members!
Douchebag? Dropping deuces? Uh, maybe if we were talking about twelve dead minors or a governmental overthrow gone awry, I could understand the anger, but a mostly amusing local blog. Anonymous A - Z might consider spending more time trying to get laid and less time belittling inconsequential points. Last I checked, Hippie Killer wasn't God (or is he?) and I'm sure he'd be the first to admit that he's not infallible (actually, maybe not), but for everyone else to get so bent out of shape because he got it a little wrong? At least he's got the balls to put his words out.
Hey, One Of Those Anonymous hippie defenders, have you read any posts on this blog? Yes, some commenters revel in it more than others, but the vitriol is in the blog's DNA. If Hippie can title a post "The world is better because he's dead" (way to sink to Falwell's level by the way), name call with "douche-nozzles", "pussyboy", and pictures of Star Wars evil, surely he can swallow a little of his own medicine.
He does say he is pissed off at those who are "first to visit the harshest judgments upon others," but to be fair, he doesn't have a problem dishing the judgments out.
If he's got the "balls to put his words out," he needs the balls to defend them...otherwise it really isn't so ballsy at all.
He should have utilized the Garrison defense. You know, when Garrison was asked if there as any conflict of interest with him being on the HEPC, and the zillions of connections he had to those on the search committee.
Garrison simply replied, "There's no conflict." And the media ate it up as the gospel.
HK should have just said, "I made no mistake," and all you Garrison knob gobblers would have up shut the fuck.
This blog is really the most entertaining West Virginia gets with our clothes on
I'll settle this debate: we should ask the Surb what he would do if he learned one of his posts was inaccurate.
I would have prefered the "made you look" defense.
Bungmuncher has asserted his own Garrison defense on Hippie's behalf: When you make a mistake about something unrelated to Garrison, throw a Garrison red herring attack for distraction. Perhaps bungmuncher should leave the discussion to adults and go play with his batman tool belt.
A steaming load of righteousness!
The nerve of someone, to confess
Their error and their humanness.
Bark, running dogs of the noblesse!
Ah, good - for ONCE, you stumblebums,
Were RIGHT, and bit your bloody thumbs
At a retraction - as it comes.
Go rub your bosses' chain with crumbs!
Lickspittles! Learn from HK's act.
No Satter-noser could retract,
Or Garris-pucker face the fact
Of error with dispatch and tact.
Your picayune defense just might
Help keep you toadies in the fight
And bring closer the long-sought night,
When you're the big boy's catamite.
Peregrinus
I hate to ruin the circle jerk of self-importance and 4th grade poems, but the reason for the comments has nothing to do with Garrison or Satterfield. HK can bang away at them all day, see how many times we've defended them. I personally hope for a Haiku soon. Once again and this time slowly, the reason for the comments is someone saying "I told you so" while showing how they aren't "misinformed" using the wrong information. I'm sure it helps to use Garrison as a boogeyman for all evils, but he has nothing to do with this despite all the iambic pentameter in the world.
I told you so. Remember how I said that and how right I was...me and my dittoheads. Just like what I said would happen, vapid poetry has appeared.
What's up with the misinformed apologist rhymers in your clown court? I bet you also have a Falconer and a Jester. Actually, sir, you need no jester with posts like yours.
The fact that you actually included the quote about the misinformed blog while spouting misinformation was brilliantly comedic. Well done.
Told you I was right.
Oh crap, played the fool again.
Clown posse attack.
Pierre de Maricourt
A court are we, you grasping tool?
Why not? We've just acquired two fools.
As for HK, long may he reign.
But you, m'luds, get my dis-thegn!
-Peregrinus
Two midget minions
Carrying a brimming pot
Their boss' bedpan.
Holy crap, you are an immense dork! haha. Did you lose your twelve-sided die today, providing you extra rhyming personal time than that in your usual day spent playing D&D with your compulsively self-pleasuring friends?
I'm not gonna lie, the poetry has made my day. I haven't laughed this hard in a long time unfortunately laughing at and not with. I bet you are worshiped as the king you deserve to be at the Star Trek conventions when you rhyme "attack" with "ballsac." And dude midget is not the preferred nomenclature.
And yet, Dave Satterfield is still sucking his way into positions for which he's not even remotely qualified. And the slug drags home a fatass paycheck. I actually met someone the other day who worked for him at the DO. He said Satterfield was the biggest drain on the state coffers since A James tried to play stock broker.
You couldn't miss further with guesses and japes,
If you'd guessed I'm Martian, you fool jackanapes.
But really, why would I give fossilized turds
What you obvious lickspittles think of my words?
I laugh at your humorless, harmless inanities.
Slumming with Philistines;
One of my vanities.
A critique from you paleos? I'm laughing - hard.
The poetry you know, from some Hallmark card;
You sent to some hillbilly mogul, no doubt,
In exchange for your cherry and turning you out,
He'd be your big daddy, and you could pretend,
That you too were important,
'cause he was your - friend.
Hmmm. Nothing to say?
Then the lesson is taught.
Or the trolls have a union
Stronger than I thought.
Perhaps bumboys don't work
On the weekends. How limp!
Or on Saturdays Satterfield
Can't spare a gimp.
My list of the "nearly departed"
Gerald Lang
Dean Mazey (got her brother to attack Garrison in support of Lang)
Daniel Wiener (supported Lang)
Tom Dorer (GC - MG needs to hire a loyal buddy here)
Cheryl Tornsey (supported Lang)
I bet 5 of the 6 are gone by Christmas.
Is 40 comments a HK record?
Who knew being wrong could be this much fun?
#6 is Janet Fisher, chief of staff
And what of the governor's education adviser here in Charleston? What shall become of her?
Sunday passes noiselessly?
Our trolls aren't what they used to be.
Who thought we'd miss the siren calls
Of "writers" like poor Harry Balls?
Let's have some dedication here!
Come, come, dear twinkie. Have no fear.
Let's have your venom. Make it quick.
Your boss' boots need one less lick.
I know you're busy. Make the time,
To get your comeuppance in rhyme!
Those that want to be a jerk
Evidently can only post from work.
Hippie, your life must be very fun, with you so fervently and frequently wrong.
But alas, some of us have lives to attend to while you and Peregrinus tirelessly seek your high goal of attaining twelvth level wizard with +3 douchebaggery, -3 charisma, and +5 female repellant.
Good night Peregrinus, you may have the last desperation soaked words. You need them more than I.
All this fuss about Dave Satterfield, and we read in the Dominion Post this morning that it took WVU $100,000 to find Mike Garrison?
I waited all weekend to hear your repeat
Your tired old defense of the social "elite?"
Now all that you post is a limp repetition
Of your claim to some brown-nosing, snobbish "position."
You're babbling, anon,
what's a "12th level whatzit?"
I'm content with your goat
Since it seems that I gotzit!
I am also done with this madness. The point that HK was wrong has been made over and over. Now some half-wit writing poems continues to write about the "bosses" even though it has been made abundantly clear that none of the anons work for Satterfield or Garrison or even care if HK calls them out. Instead we get the same old tired rhymes and a guy claming an internet "victory." Congrats, poem-boy you "won" by being unable to comprehend any information whatsoever making everyone tired of your act. After a while when trying to argue with an imbecile you begin to look like one yourself; I refuse to go down that road.
I kinda thought the dungeons and dragons reference was sort of cool -like you know, he was ridiculing him for being a dork, but he knew the lingo... Sort of telling. Probably keeps his dice in his underwear drawer under his framed glossy of Warwick Davis and mummified jelly baby wrapper. Dude, hang in there. You've got to be close to leveling.
"...None of the anons work for Satterfield or Garrison or even care if HK calls them out."
But yet there are 50 comments, most of which from you people. Here's some poetry for you: thou doest protest too fucking much.
Maybe you work for that PR firm Garrison hired...seeing how you people only comment between 8 and 5, M-F.
Either way, the people who claim to dislike this blog so much sure manage to spend a lot of time here.
Never said I dislike the blog. Makes for some enjoyable reading. Hate to ruin any conspiracy theorist's ideas, but we are just a couple of guys that stumbled onto the blog. Thought it was interesting enough, but happen to think HK is wrong about Satterfield being the next president of WVURC.
Nice analysis, again, HK. You have managed to exhibit amazing deductive skills by determining that people who work 8-5 M-F must work for a PR firm hired by Garrison. Your dittoheads are having enough trouble without your "help".
Gee, I thought you guys were leaving...
I guess we'll learn to stop believing
Anything we thought we heard
From trolls-for-hire who holler "nerd!"
Let's move on. HK, what are your thoughts on Festivall?
Best West Virginia wine, anyone? I know some of you tasted them all down there ...
I agree. For all his vulgarity, HK tries to run a classy joint here (right?), or at least a thoughtful one. This is just schoolyard taunts back and forth. I'm surprised peregrinus actually engaged in this lunacy. I thought him better.
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